We All Fall Down
Funny thing about life is how things just happen when we least expect them.
My dad’s health has been spiraling for the last six or seven months. You know when a road is beginning to near its end, but sometimes you just don’t know exactly where and when. For my dad, that was this past Saturday.
My dad was a good dad. Watching him slowly wear down and whither away little by little has been hard. The one blessing we have had is that he had early stages of dementia, meaning he always knew who he was, who we were and mostly knew where he was at all times, but he would get a little confused about some details. One thing he was unaware of was how bad his condition was deteriorating. He truly thought he would be traveling to their winter home in Florida as soon as he was out of the hospital/assisted living.
And I never disputed this belief. Truly, I never knew if he wouldn’t, but that wasn’t likely.
So, you never know when the last time you will have the opportunity to be with a person. You never know what your last words are, you never know when the time will be up. This is one of the main reasons I wanted to take this leap and compete this year. Why not?
Who knows what six months will bring? What next year will bring?
My dad had a carpe diem mindset about life. When he wanted to do something he did it. That meant buying a house in Florida. That meant wearing loud button down shirts and crocs with socks. That meant going to Key West by himself and riding his electric scooter around the island, traveling to Europe not once, but twice.
I’m more timid, but as I get older, I am learning to be more carpe diem.
So this past Sunday, the day after my dad passed, I slipped on the front steps. It was a simple thing really. I hadn’t planted my foot all the way on the step and just slipped, twisting my left foot on the way down. This meant a trip to urgent care, an X-ray, and a wrapped, swollen foot. I suppose I’m lucky I haven’t purchased those five inch heels yet.
I definitely wasn’t expecting to fall. I know I didn’t plan on it. But like I said, sometimes in life, the unexpected is bound to happen.
What does this mean for competition? I’m not sure yet. Hopefully it’s all far enough away that it won’t make a difference. I am taking it one day at a time.
This weekend will be my dad’s service, and we will say goodbye to him…although it is still weird and I feel like he is just at the assisted living facility or still a phone call away. I guess in time, it will become more real. For now, I’m just focusing on each moment and trying to live each day fully.
But we all fall down sometimes.