I get it, I get it. Everyone needs to start from the bottom and building a business takes time and moxy to put yourself out there. But there is something about these DM’s that feel icky — almost dick pic like.

Getting the DM’s

Stories of a Midlife Bikini Mom
3 min readDec 8, 2023

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I remember when I first joined Facebook.

The first post I saw was a friend from high school I hadn’t talked to in years. Her post read something like: Just watched my trash can and all of its contents blow down the street.

I’m not sure why I remember that so clearly and forget to like, pay my trash bill, but I do remember it and how intriguing it was that this person I had once hung out with in school at games, her house and parties, was now talking about her trash cans blowing down the street. It was like a window to her life.

I was hooked.

Fast forward a few years and I got my first dick pic. I will spare you the details. It was unrequested and quite a shock to receive but it was not the last one.

How weird… I remember thinking…why on earth would anyone do that?

It’s been a bit since I’ve gotten one of those (thank God). With Snapchat taking over in that department, people are less likely to send those type of photos on Facebook.

But I have gotten a different type of DM since I have gotten into bodybuilding — coaching solicitation.

It’s odd when you get them. They come in from people who recently requested friendship, or sometimes people you aren’t friends with yet. They introduce themselves, offer up a course, a fat loss challenge, or even discounted coaching services (for a limited time!). Sometimes they just try to engage me in a conversation that just keeps going and going for no particular reason.

One guy last year did the endless, pointless conversation until I finally said I wasn’t interested in buying anything. He acted surprised and said he wasn’t selling anything… I have also been promised a pro card if I work with a certain person, or sometimes they just inquire if I am already working with someone.

I get it, I get it. Everyone needs to start from the bottom and building a business takes time and moxy to put yourself out there. But there is something about these DM’s that feel icky — almost dick pic like.

I realize that’s a stretch but there is a vibe to it. I suppose it’s the new salesman at the door approach, or the woman at the perfume counter that spritzes you as you walk past. These tactics are almost always unwanted and feel invasive.

In the end, it’s not really hurting anyone, unless it’s a true scam. In that case, ugh, no.

Social media has come a long way since my high school friend posted about her trash cans. And it’s not going away..well..probably ever. I’ve learned to spot the sales pitch quickly and even blocked a few. It still can feel a little slimy and to be honest, all of social media can be overbearing at times.

For now I “clock off” it at a certain time every night, I take my time responding and do my best to deflect the sales DM’s as quickly as Wonder Woman deflects bullets with her bracelets.

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